Number One Contender’s Tag team match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship: Beer Money, Inc. vs. Ink Inc.
Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore really stepped up their game tonight, but perhaps if they spent less time on face paint and dying their spikes, they could have won the match. Many times throughout, it seemed that Ink Inc. would finally earn their championship opportunity. But James Storm and Robert Roode were just one DWI quicker. As a result of the Tag Team matches at Final Resolution, the epic feud between Beer Money, Inc. and Motor City Machine Guns has resurfaced.
Falls Count Anywhere match: Mickie James vs. Tara
Not even Mickie James is certain where exactly this feud started, probably from an argument from five-years ago, she thinks. Tara and James spared no time whatsoever in taking the match to the outside of the ring. These women where throwing themselves through guard rails, concrete walls, and a hilarious visit to the men’s room. Most memorable moment from the bout was the gentleman reading the paper on the pooper, stares at the camera and runs out of the stall with a fist full of his pants. He did not stop to wipe or wash his hands. Madison Rayne, hiding in one of the stalls, attacked Mickie in order for Tara to get the pinfall. Disgusting thought… Mickie James was stretched on the men’s restroom floor, where urine tends to reside in sticky smelly puddles. If anything, that is Hardcore Country.
TNA X Division Championship match with Cookie suspended above the ring in a shark cage: [C] Robbie-E vs. Jay Lethal
How does one get Cookie to get inside of a shark cage in order to start the championship bout? Get thrown in by a shark? That doesn’t seem likely. How about a hybrid of a half man, half shark? Dean Roll made his return to the Impact Zone as the Stone Cold Steve Austin inspired, Shark Boy. And after the bout ended between Jay Lethal and Robbie-E, Shark Boy laid out Cookie with the Chummer. The match-up between Lethal and Robbie-E was better than expected, but who could have guessed that Cookie, though suspended above the ring in a shark cage, would manage to help Robbie out? Lethal used Cookie’s pepper spray on Robbie and got himself disqualified.
First Blood match: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
A First Blood match has always been an unpredictable concept. What if the wrong guy bleeds? What if the match ends prematurely? And what if the guy who joined Eric Bischoff’s payroll doesn’t go over, again? Rhino bled to Rob Van Dam’s Van Terminator, corner-to-corner missile dropkick with a trash can positioned on Rhino’s face. So what was the point of pushing Rhino as this major heel if he loses cleanly to both Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam?
TNA Television Championship match: [C] AJ Styles vs. Douglas Williams
As predicted on the Pregame post, the match between AJ Styles and Douglas Williams stole the show. The incredible athleticism between these two, along with their charming personalities, told a solid story throughout the match. Now, it’s common as of late with ReAction and Impact that all they do is tell stories. But that’s in a verbal sense, and usually outside of the ring. But a true wrestling match can tell its story inside of the ring without a microphone. They garnered a strong reaction from the audience as they were split in their decision. But in the end, Douglas Williams struck with Rolling Chaos Theory on the outside, followed by Styles’ own finisher Styles Clash in the ring to become the new TNA Television Champion.
TNA World Tag Team Championship match under Full Metal Mayhem rules: [C] Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me
Full Metal Mayhem is nothing more than a TLC match made famous by The Hardy Boyz, The Dudley Boyz, and Edge and Christian. And speaking of TLC, the finish of the fifth Full Metal Mayhem match had almost the exact finish of the Triangle Ladder match of WrestleMania 2000. Where Edge and Christian won their first WWF Tag Team Championships with the assist of a table placed on top of the ladders. At Final Resolution, despite how A.D.D. the action appears between these two in previous matches, the Full Metal Mayhem slowed down the pace in order to sink everything in. Generation Me had telegraphed a lot of Motor City Machine Guns’ moves in order to counter with steel chairs. But when the ladders appeared too short to grab the belts, a table was placed on top in order to provide a higher platform to retrieve the belts. Going back to WrestleMania 2000, Matt Hardy climbed a ladder, along with Edge and Christian, who pushed Matt off the ladder and through a table. Chris Sabin and Max Buck fought on top of the table, where Sabin would push Max off the table and through another table. The Motor City Machine Guns retained their championships in a hard-fought match, and despite the similar endings, all four guys have shorten their careers in order to put on one hell of a match.
Casket Match: Abyss vs. D’Angelo Dinero
Usually, Abyss would man handle D’Angelo Dinero, and not speaking of Abyss, while inside of the casket, punching through to clutch Pope’s nuts. The size and power advantage of Abyss is what allows him to pick up victories. Which was also the case at Final Resolution, but D’Angelo Dinero gave him hell before being laid to rest. Something is lost in a casket match, when the “monster” is unable to reach the casket’s top in order to slam it shut. Unlike The Undertaker who closes caskets on his victims with authority.
Submission Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Samoa Joe
Also predicted on the Pregame post, chants of “Joe’s Gunna Kill You” ran rampant at the start of the bout, despite Jeff Jarrett’s stooges Gunner and Murphy attacking the ankle of Samoa Joe in a prematch interview. Jarrett showed a lot of resiliency throughout the match, especially when facing an actual submissions specialist. Unfortunately, Samoa Joe forced Jarrett to tap out outside of the ring, which the referee made clear that submissions were only valid inside of the ring. Another time he forced Jarrett to tap was when he had his leg under the ropes, which also breaks a hold. And just when Joe would finally get Jarrett to tap in the center of the ring, Gunner and Murphy caused the distraction for Jarrett to reverse the hold into Kurt Angle’s Ankle Lock. Samoa Joe has never been the type to tap out, shades of WrestleMania 13, but it doesn’t rule out that he might pass out from the pain.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship match under No disqualification rules with Mr. Anderson as Special Guest Referee: [C] Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Morgan
Jeff Hardy has now started to generate heat from the fans, something that seemed unlikely due to his incredibly devoted fan base. But the chants of “You Suck!” were imminent in the Impact Zone. But Hardy seems to have a problem coming up with new wrestling maneuvers to associate with his new persona. Moves like Swanton Bomb and Whisper in the Wind are moves of a fan favorite, and to have Twist of Fate called Twist of Hate did not work in WWE, and certainly doesn’t work now in TNA. A submission move would be ideal for his persona, possibly the Texas Cloverleaf. As for the match, since this was No Disqualifications, Mr. Anderson had only one job and that was to count to three. But when Hardy wanted a count-out finish, Mr. Anderson would not oblige, and forced him back into the ring with Matt Morgan. Then push came to shove, Mr. Anderson was knocked out allowing Bischoff to come in with a new referee. Within no time, Jeff Hardy left Final Resolution still the TNA Champion. However, there was no resolution in this bout.
Final Thoughts: What really irked this wrestling fan, and possibly others, was how Mr. Anderson’s concussion wound reopened, laying in a puddle of blood, and not a single trainer or EMT came out to assist him.
During the Television title bout, when Williams locked in the Texas Cloverleaf, Tazz mentioned that the move paid homage to Dean Malenko. Which isn’t surprising since Williams has paid homage to Malenko in a number of ways, including when he held the X-Division title (equivalent to the cruiserweight) and demanded to take the division from acrobats back to pure wrestling.
The ending of the pay-per-view generated a marvelous realization, Jeff Hardy retained, not the TNA Heavyweight Championship of the World, but the TNA Cartoon Heavyweight title of Orlando, Florida.
Who did Robbie-E think he was during that match, Chris Jericho? “Ask him, Ref!”
Its so hilarious that Shark Boy is an Anime version of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Final Resolution felt more like a three-hour episode of Impact. Without two-hours of talking.