Tonight, Sports Entertainment, Entertainment-Entertainment, and World Wide Entertainment hosts yet another pay-per-view. Don’t have a clue who’s on the card, or wondering if Zack Ryder made the cut? Well bro, you came to the right place because The Wrestling Times proudly presents: The Pregame Post, rants and listings of what to expect tonight at Extreme Rules. And no… Zack Ryder didn’t make the cut. Woo Woo Woo, You Should’ve Known That!
“What’s so extreme about it? There’s no blood,” said a wrestling fan. Suck it up, Junior! As Vince McMahon put it at a stockholder’s meeting in Stamford, CT, you don’t need blood to have shows of that nature. Extreme Rules is extreme on your body.
Couldn’t be more right, Mr. McMahon. (I was forced to agree with his statements, or else WWE would buy out The Wrestling Times, revamp it in Vince’s vision, and then after four pain-staking years, when WWE realized that they had no clue what The Wrestling Times was about, it would be canceled. I made the right choice.)
Speaking of Extreme, how about that Ladder Match for the Vacant World Heavyweight Championship. The former champion EDGE was forced to retire due to injury; hence, why the World’s Title is vacant. A new champion will indeed be crowned tonight! Christian, winning a Battle Royal to earn contendership, is one of the most underrated wrestlers in the WWE, and now has an opportunity to finally win “The Big One.” A lot is riding on this match for Christian: This is his shot to be recognized as a World Champion, while also having the added pressure of keeping the title on SmackDown. However, in order to become the World Champion, Christian will have to defy Alberto Del Rio’s destiny. Will Christian’s experience in ladder matches be enough, or will destiny prove too strong of a force?
No Count-Out, No Disqualification, Loser Leaves the WWE. Team Lay-Cool have been together for over two years. They have co-held Women’s and Divas Championships together, they have unified the championships together, and they have dominated the Divas division together. Tonight, after weeks of being a part, Michelle McCool and Layla will meet inside of the squared circle. By match’s end, one will leave the WWE… forever.
Before they head to their new homes, C.M. Punk and Randy Orton will brawl one last time until the Last Man is Standing. Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes fight throughout the arena in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. (You would expect a Mask vs. Mask Match, no?) And as predicted, Kofi Kingston has one final opportunity to bring a mid-level title to Raw. After getting his taint handed to him on SmackDown, Kingston has challenged Sheamus for the United States Championship.
The people demanded it, and WWE has delivered (sort of). Tonight, Good Ol’ J.R. returns to pay-per-view in a Country Whipping Match, teaming up with former broadcast colleague, Jerry Lawler. Their opponents? “The Voice of the WWE” and “Most Annoying Person Alive!” Michael Cole and former World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger. Michael Cole has, so far, done a horrific job managing Swagger on both Raw and SmackDown, can they pull together and defeat “(Arguably) The Greatest Broadcast Duo in Monday Night Raw History?”
(In all seriousness: I pray to God that Jim Ross, three-time Bell’s palsy victim, does not suffer another stroke.)
Tonight’s main event is a Steel Cage Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship of the World! Defending Champion The Miz takes on John Cena and John Morrison. For those in Nashville and Orlando, watch how it’s done! No one expected The Miz to still be champion at WrestleMania, let alone walk out still champion. Tonight, The Miz doesn’t have to be pinned to lose the title. John Morrison can either pin John Cena, or escape the cage, and in turn, Cena can also pin Morrison, or escape the cage. The odds are stacked against The Miz. John Cena, after being drafted to SmackDown and redrafted back to Raw, has a golden opportunity to win the WWE Championship, with the mindset that if he wins, he can defend the belt against The Rock at next year’s WrestleMania. As for John Morrison, he stole this opportunity from R-Truth. Could we see a run in by Truth? As the old saying goes, “Payback is a b—h!”
And that my friends is a crash course of what to expect at tonight’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view. Whether or not you decide to drop this week’s paycheck, or skip it, come back tomorrow for The Wrestling Times’ Final Thoughts post with all the rants of the event.
Until next time: Remember to please subscribe, tell a friend, phone a friend, add The Wrestling Times to your web browsers’ favorites on your computer and your mobile devices. Follow me on Twitter @WrestlingTimesX for quick rants, which I will be too lazy to post on this site. Oh, and RT everything I say because it’s golden!